Monologue Jokes • Cecily Wiggins • Graphics + Web + Content
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Monologue Jokes

A Florida school is being criticized for digitally manipulating the yearbook photos of dozens of female student’s cleavage without consent. But the yearbook committee got it all wrong because when you think of digital manipulations at school, you think of REPORT CARDS. 

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis signed a bill Monday that aims to punish social media companies for moderating and suspending political candidates’ accounts. But, I don’t think he knows how social media works. Twitter jail is a thing. But you know you can’t put Twitter in jail right?

A new video showing four Su-57 Felon fighter jets flying low over Russian territory sounded like screaming banshees. Which explains their marketing campaign: The jets scream for your life, so you don’t have to.

Some woman patients are complaining of swollen breasts after the Covid 19 vaccine. These same women are also complaining that they can’t keep up with their partner’s sex drive.

Horse racing faces scrutiny after footage of jockey posing on a dead horse. This is strange because when you think of horse racing, the fastest horses are alive.

The Biden administration released a statement announcing families separated at the Mexican border under Trump can reunite and remain in the US. Only thing, parents must successfully compete in the Border version of The American Ninja Warriors.

Nike Inc.’s executive abruptly left the company following an article about her son operating a lucrative business reselling sneakers and using her American ExpressApparently she’s been hired by “Simply Lemonade”, and her son is currently in the market for a state of the pop-up lemonade stand.

KFC announced a new spicy Chicken Sandwich that features a bigger, fuller double-breaded chicken filet—25% larger than their old sandwich. (Insert picture of the sandwich)

I know what you’re all thinking: are they real, right? I’m talking about the chickens

Where do they find these chickens with implants? Wait! What did you think I was talking about?